ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
