He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
