some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
