What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
