i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
should my penis look like a turkey
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize