and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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