Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
