best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
