he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
