no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
