therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
