these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
