I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
