He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
