just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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