i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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