How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
