it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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