Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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