I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
