am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
