Where is the hickey?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
