theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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