Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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