I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
