Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
