Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
