oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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