I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
