dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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