no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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