all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
