Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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