i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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