I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
