Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
