also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
