she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
