Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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