if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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