So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
as a side note pls kill me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
