Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
