OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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