I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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