Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
