Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
