If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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