Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
