38 yer olds are good kisserssss
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
