It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
