Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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