Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's like heaven, but drunker
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
