I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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