so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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