thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
