I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
