Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
