Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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