Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
