i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
