i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
