My hand turned me down
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
