worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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